Heart of Disaster: A Titanic Novel of love and loss Read online

  “It’s fine. My aunt decided I was to be married. She picked out my husband.”

  Cathy interrupted. “Was he rich?”

  Kate rolled her eyes as if giving up on her friend. Delia tried to frame her answer in an inoffensive way. Judging by the clothes, Kate and Cathy wore, they would consider many people rich.

  “He was what you would call comfortable, although he couldn’t afford to travel up there in First Class. He was also a protestant minister and at least fifty years old.”

  “Fifty? He’s old enough to be your father,” Kate said.

  Cathy’s eyes almost bulged out of her head. “Protestant? But you are Catholic, aren’t you?” For once, Cathy looked slightly unsure of herself.

  Delia hastened to explain. “Yes I am. A priest married Conor and I but we had to elope. My aunt would never have allowed it to happen and being underage I needed her permission.”

  “That’s so romantic.” Cathy gazed at her, a dreamy expression on her face.

  “How did you meet Conor?” Kate asked.

  “We grew up together. My mam ran away from her home and married a Catholic. She converted and then they had me. We lived near Conor’s family. I knew him from when I was a little girl. When I had to go to live at my aunt’s home, he still came to visit me. He helped me with my chores.”

  “Didn’t you have servants? I thought your aunt was rich.”

  Delia hesitated. “Yes, she was.”

  How could she explain what her aunt was like to these girls? “I mean she is. She hates me. I remind her of her sister and the fact she ran away. My grandfather had plans to present my mother at court and had arranged for her to marry a duke or something but my mother ran away with my dad. My aunt never forgave her. She said it broke my grandfather’s heart and he died.”

  “You are the granddaughter of an earl? And you gave it all up to travel to America in Third Class?” Cathy looked at her as if Delia had lost her mind.

  “Yes, and I would do it over and over again. I love Conor. He is a wonderful man and we are going to be very happy together.” Delia knew she sounded defensive but she couldn’t help it. Why did people judge others on the amount of money they had or whether they had a position in society?

  Kate nudged Cathy. “I think it’s really romantic, Delia. Its obvious you and Conor belong together. You can see he adores you and vice-versa. Do you think you and your aunt will ever be reconciled?”

  “No, Kate ,there is no chance of that. She sent an armed man to Southampton to bring me home. Thankfully, she didn’t guess we were traveling on the Titanic ” Delia fell silent for a moment.

  “You won’t tell the others about this, will you? I don’t want to be treated any differently.”

  “No, of course not, we won’t breathe a word will we Cathy?” Kate poked Cathy with her elbow when the other girl failed to answer. “Cathy?”

  “I’m not going to tell anyone but how did you escape? It all sounds incredibly romantic. Kate’s right.”

  Delia told them how her mother’s friend, Lady Fitzgerald, had helped her.

  Cathy gasped, her eyes wide. “I read about her in the papers. She was presented at court and was a real beauty and has two sons, doesn’t she?”

  Delia smiled at Cathy’s knowledge of Irish society. “Yes, she does. She is still beautiful, inside and out. She bought me these clothes. My aunt used to make me dress in browns and other dreadful colors. Geraldine, I mean Lady Fitzgerald, was so nice to me.”

  “Why?” Kate asked.

  “She was friends with my mother and said she did it for her. I think she would help anyone if she could. Anyway, I wouldn’t be here today if she hadn’t helped both of us.”

  Conor made them all jump when he asked, “Who wouldn’t be here?”

  Panicked, Delia tried to think of something to say. She didn’t know if Conor would want her talking about their elopement.

  “Your wife was just telling us about living in Dublin. New York will be so different from where we come from in Galway. We lived in a small town, didn’t we Kate?” Cathy smiled at Delia as Kate nodded.

  Delia relaxed, knowing the girls wouldn’t betray her confidence. Still, she wasn’t taking any chances. She stood up. “Thank you, ladies, for your lovely company. Conor, can we go for walk?”

  * * *

  Kate sat at the table in silence, thinking about the story Delia had told them. It seemed money didn’t protect you from bad things happening.

  “You’re quiet. Are you feeling all right?” Cathy asked.

  “I’m fine. I was just thinking about Delia. How sad her parents ran away together and then died so young.”

  “It is, but don’t worry about it. We are young and about to start our wonderful lives in America. Nothing can stop us, Kate. We don’t have any evil aunts hunting us down.”

  Kate couldn’t share Cathy’s enthusiasm. If only she hadn’t read her friend's letter. Maybe then she could look forward to landing in New York.

  Chapter 21

  Sunday morning, 14th April. Third Class

  Delia and Conor attended the Catholic mass. She waved at Kate, Cathy and Daniel seated across the way from them. The English priest, Father Byles, and a German priest conducted the service. It was well attended, with every nationality in steerage being represented. Delia listened to the familiar Latin words, her mind swamped with memories of her parents taking her to mass when she was little. Her First Communion when her mam had sewn an exquisite dress. She hadn’t known at the time but the material had come from one of the dresses from her mam’s old life. She had felt like a little princess. She could still smell the incense and see her father’s face glowing with pride.

  Conor nudged her when everyone else stood up. She was still kneeling, lost in her memories.

  “You were miles away.”

  “I was thinking of my parents and how happy they would be for us to be together,” Delia whispered.

  Conor’s expression changed as sadness filled his eyes. “Not sure how they would feel about me taking their daughter away from Ireland. Not to mention the fact we don’t have a home or …”

  “Stop it right now, Conor Brennan. We will both get jobs and have a fantastic life in America.”

  “You’re right, love. Someday, we could even be traveling up there.”

  Delia glanced to the First Class area. She had no desire to travel up there, but she would love to see it. Cathy’s account of her visit to the First Class area was mesmerizing. She came back full of stories about a room where ladies could ride mechanical camels and a room where the staircase was as high as a building. Cathy had stolen a menu on her way back and a few passengers had drooled over its contents. Delia, although impressed at the variety of foods available, wasn’t tempted, possibly as she had already tasted many of the courses at her aunt’s house. She was happier than she had ever been, here in Third Class, with Conor as her husband.

  The priest shook everyone’s hand as they left the service.

  “Have a good day.”

  “Thank you for a lovely sermon, father,” Delia said.

  He smiled. “My pleasure.”

  “Do you live in America, father?” Conor asked.

  “Oh no, I live in Essex, a lovely area of England. My brother is engaged to be married and asked me to marry him. My lovely parishioners raised the money for my fare. I am deeply grateful to them for doing so. As a priest, I wouldn’t have the money to, travel otherwise.”

  “That was nice of them, father. They must think highly of you,” Delia said.

  “Are you traveling to family?”

  “Yes, father. Two of my brothers live in New York. They sent us the fare to come over. We were due to travel on the SS Cymric . It was canceled so we were moved to this ship.”

  “Weren’t we lucky? Not that I wish those men who are striking to be out of work but sailing on the Titanic is such an experience. It will be something for you to tell your grandchildren. Now I must get going. It was nice speaking to
you.”

  Conor and Delia watched as he walked away. “He’s a nice man, reminds me of Father Andreas. He has the same kind eyes,” Delia said.

  “Come on, Mrs. Brennan, I’m starving.” He took her arm and headed in the direction of the dining salon.

  “I think I am fitter than ever before, Delia. All that music and dancing is a good thing. I can eat as much as I like and my brothers won’t be calling me fat when we arrive.”

  Delia nudged her husband, “Nobody could call you fat, darling.”

  He made her laugh by pretending to preen in front of a glass window.

  “How would your brothers feel about your jumping rope?”

  He didn’t rise to the bait. “You weren’t such a good skipper, I had to look after you.”

  “If my aunt could have seen me, she would have had a heart attack.” Delia giggled. It took a couple of seconds to regain her voice. “At one point my skirts were up almost to my knees jumping rope.”

  “So I noticed.” He leant in and whispered in her ear. “I liked the view.”

  Delia jokingly pushed him away but he just grinned at her.

  “Your aunt sounds like she needs some fun in her life. Maybe she can travel out on the Titanic next voyage and see how to really live.”

  Delia hadn’t said anything, certain her aunt wouldn’t have traveled in Third Class. Even if Cecilia did find herself in Third Class, she would never have been caught dancing or skipping. She couldn’t remember her aunt ever smiling. It’s a wonder her mam had turned out so differently when they both came from the same home. Conor put his hand under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. He smiled, but concern filled his eyes.

  “Penny for them?”

  “Not worth that much. I was thinking of my aunt and how she never smiles.”

  “Don’t be thinking of that one. She’s not right in the head. Thank God I got you away from her. To think you could be on your honeymoon with the Reverend.”

  She nudged her husband, not wanting to think about that. She was so happy, maybe too happy. A chill crossed her heart and she shivered. Conor looked at her, his eyes full of concern.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She hesitated. Could she admit she was scared someone would steal their happiness. “Ah, nothing. I was just cold, that’s all.”

  She snuggled closer to him and together they watched the antics of their fellow travelers as the guy with the pipes weaved his way in and out of the skipping games, playing songs she didn’t recognize but which seemed to be very sad.

  Conor’s stomach rumbled making Delia giggle.

  “I’m not being a good wife. I should feed you.” She took his arm and led the way to the dining room. They found two free seats near some other English speaking travelers.

  Delia smiled as Conor began eating almost before the server got a chance to put the meal on the table. She played with her own food.

  “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it? Do you fancy taking a walk around the ship, when you are finished?”

  “Yes. You must eat first, Delia. We can’t have you arriving in America looking half-starved. That would give my brothers something to talk about.”

  Delia ate to please her husband. She wasn’t hungry and couldn’t finish her portion. He didn’t have the same problem.

  “I best walk off that meal. Which direction do you want to take?” Conor bowed to her, making her giggle. She loved his sense of humor. She spotted Miserable Mary giving them a dirty look but just ignored her.

  “I’m tired of being cooped up indoors, are you?”

  Conor grinned, the expression in his eyes making her blush. “There are some advantages.” He whistled as they walked. When they came to the seating area, he pulled her onto his knee. She protested. “Conor, people are watching.”

  “So? We’re married. Soon, I will be so rich, nobody will care what I do. All they will talk about is my wife’s jewels, her clothes and how lucky she is.”

  She hated how he seemed to be besotted by giving her the life he thought she wanted. She planted a kiss on his cheek. “So long as we are together, I will always feel lucky.”

  She glanced up to find an older couple at the First Class rail obviously enjoying watching the steerage class dancing.

  Conor caught her looking. “We could sneak up there if you feel like living dangerously.”

  “No thank you. I have other plans for this afternoon.” Glancing quickly around, she whispered in his ear. He drew back, his smile wide as he brushed his lips across her forehead.

  “Delia Brennan, I’m shocked. On a Sunday afternoon.”

  She knew he was teasing by the look in his eyes. Then he kissed her before saying, “Lead on, you wicked lady.”

  Feeling rather daring, she took him by the hand and together they headed for their cabin.

  Chapter 22

  During a break from stoking, Davy poked Gerry in the ribs. “Have you heard the latest?”

  Gerry shook his head, showering drops of water everywhere. He had just tried to cool his skin down, overheating as usual due to the fires.

  “The captain’s ordered full steam ahead. Despite the fact that the officers warned him there’s ice out there.”

  “Of course, there’s ice. It’s the North Atlantic.”

  “Gerry, this isn’t funny. I heard Barrett and some of the others talking. They’re worried. The Marconi boys said some ice warnings came in earlier but rather than slowing down, the captain wants us to go faster.”

  “Captain Smith knows what he is doing. He’s been traveling this ocean since before we were born.” Gerry tried to sound more confident. He wasn’t about to wind up Davy by agreeing with him. He mopped his face and head with a dirty rag. “Got any more of that tea? My throat is parched.”

  Davy handed over his cup but he didn’t say a word.

  Feeling guilty, Gerry tried to reassure him. “Davy, stop worrying, will you. This is the Titanic remember. Soon we will be drinking cool beers in some bar in New York.”

  An officer chose that moment to walk behind Gerry. “You won’t be drinking anything, son, unless you get back to work.”

  Gerry swore under his breath. That officer didn’t drink alcohol and made his views of those who did, well known.

  “Sorry, sir.” Gerry nodded and returned to work. He had to keep his head down and out of trouble Otherwise, Jeanie would have to kiss her ring goodbye. He needed a good report to get a job on the trip back.

  He got back to his station and began fueling the boilers once more. Gerry glanced at Barrett. The man was staring at the pressure gauges. He’d never seen his chief look so worried. Gerry was about to ask why when Barret caught him looking and gave him a reassuring smile.

  Davy’s worrying has my head turned upside down, Gerry thought as he shoveled more coal into the furnace.

  Chapter 23

  Sunday evening, April 14th. Third Class.

  Later that evening, Conor and Delia got up for dinner.

  “It’s awful chilly, isn’t it? Much colder than last night,” Delia commented as she cuddled closer to Conor.

  “Do you want to forgo our walk?”

  Although tempted to go back inside to the warmth, she shook her head. Every evening after dinner they had walked the decks. She loved spending time with him, staring into the sky, wishing on the stars.

  “It’s such a clear night, the stars look so close, don’t they?”

  “They do but that’s not a star over there. It looks like another ship. Not a passenger liner, though.”

  “Is it? It looks tiny.” Delia squinted in the direction Conor pointed.

  He laughed loudly, causing her to look at him.

  “My wife is thoroughly spoiled having traveled across the sea on the biggest ship ever built. Everything will look tiny to you from now on.” He kissed her.

  Delia giggled at his teasing. She was so lucky to have this wonderful man at her side. Conor gave her an impish smile before confessing.

  “I did
n’t know it was a ship, either. I heard the crew talking.”

  “I thought you knew everything.”

  Conor winked. “I know enough to get by. Now come on, Mrs. Brennan, my feet have lost all feeling. Let’s go below and show off our dancing skills?”

  Delia grimaced as she wriggled her toes. “After last night? I think I will be sitting it out. Kate, Daniel and that crowd from Athlone and Galway could dance the legs off of you.”

  “They could, indeed, but they don’t dance as fine as my missus.”

  “Oh you!” She took his arm as he led the way back towards the sound of the party.

  Chapter 24

  K ate sat in the crowded, smoky, room watching the crowd dancing and having fun. She was in a funny mood and couldn’t work out why.

  A rat raced across the floor as the women screamed and the men came running after it, trying to beat it to death. The women’s screams turned to giggles as the men turned it all into a game. Kate couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone was just a bit too happy. She missed Nell badly and the crowds around her seemed to increase rather than reduce her anxiety.. Daniel kept trying to get her alone, but she didn’t know what to say to him. She liked him, a lot, if she was honest but was it enough to leave Cathy and move somewhere in America where she knew nobody. It would be different if they were still living in Galway. They would go courting for a while, get married, have children and die without ever leaving Galway.

  Here they were on the brink of a bright new future in an unknown land and he wanted her to go somewhere she’d never heard of. But at least he wanted her. She still hadn’t said anything to Cathy about her sister’s letter. Cathy hadn’t referred to it and she didn’t want to admit she had read her correspondence.

  “You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. What’s wrong?” Cathy asked as she returned from dancing to where Kate was sitting. Her friend took a large drink, causing Seamus to glower in her direction. Cathy retaliated by telling her brother to go dance with Miserable Mary. Seamus had declined, reminding her it was Sunday evening and nobody should be dancing and drinking on the Sabbath. Then he had left to go to bed.