Heart of Disaster: A Titanic Novel of love and loss Read online

  “Shut up and sit down.”

  Stunned to be spoken to so rudely, the women sat down and started crying. Kate wanted to comfort them, but she couldn’t think of what to say. The officer ordered the boat to be lowered. Kate prayed hard, although the sea was calm around them, she didn’t feel safe in such a tiny boat. She wished she could have stayed on the Titanic.

  She wondered if Cathy felt the same, but before she got a chance to speak, a loud splash was heard off the side of the boat.

  “Oh, Mary mother of god, Alice that’s Bernard in the water,” one of the women said as she rushed toward the side of the boat nearest the jumper. “He’s our baby brother.”

  A crewmember shouted at her. “Sit down or you will capsize us.”

  Kate watched the other crewmember. He took up an oar. Thinking he was going to help the drowning man, she sighed with relief. Instead he started beating the swimmer about the head.

  “Let him in,” Kate shouted. The seaman paid her no notice. The sister who had spotted him stood up and made for the seaman. Kate watched incredulously as the sister threw the man to the bottom of the boat and sat on him. She saw the woman hit the crew member with her hands.

  She realized the other woman known as Alice was trying to haul the drowning man over the side. Leaving Cathy, she leaned over to help Alice.

  A crewmember helped them. “I’m in charge of this boat.” The man used his oar to help drag the drowning man on board.

  “What’s your name,” Kate asked the crew member.

  “Quartermaster Perkis, miss. You best try to wake him up. Sleeping after freezing in the water is a bad idea.”

  Kate looked at the saved man. He smiled before passing out, probably from the cold. Kate couldn’t do anything more so returned to her seat beside Cathy. The two of them watched as the two sisters got the man sitting between them and chafed his hands and face until he woke up.

  “Thank you.” His weak voice was barely discernable. He closed his eyes again. Kate wondered if the man would survive. Someone handed the small family a blanket.

  “Why couldn’t that have been Seamus?” Cathy moaned to her side.

  Kate didn’t reply. She couldn’t blame Cathy. Kate wished it had been Daniel who had thought to jump.

  Chapter 35

  Gerry made his way up top. Everywhere there were swarms of people. Quite a few looked at him strangely before he realized he had forgotten his jacket and was clad only in his vest and trousers, the uniform he wore tending the boilers.

  A glance over the ship's side told him some lifeboats were already away. He couldn’t remember his boat number. He could see a group of people climbing up the crane in the after well deck, following others who were crawling along the boom to the First Class quarters. He watched mesmerized. They looked like a line of ants.

  A steward glanced at Gerry.

  “Poor fools. It’s the only way for them to get to the boat deck.” The steward pointed to the emergency crew ladder. “That’s our best bet.”

  Gerry climbed the emergency crew ladder, illuminated by the light coming from the First Class restaurant, to get from the second deck to the boat one. He saw a young girl being helped to the next deck by a man in Second Class allowing her to stand on his shoulders.

  Gerry and the girl reached the boat deck more or less at the same time. He heard a sailor turn her away from a boat saying it was full. The girl glanced at the sea and then around her before she said, “My sister, she’s in the boat. Please let me go with her.”

  “Sorry, miss, there is no room,” First Officer, Murdoch, replied. “Lower away.”

  “Please, sir, I beg you. I have to look after her. I promised our mother. Please, sir.”

  Murdoch looked around him before he gestured the girl to jump into the boat. “Be quick about it.” He said gruffly. The girl picked up her skirts and jumped, landing in the middle of the boat.

  Gerry looked down. The list to port was noticeable now. The gap between the lifeboat and the ship was about a yard and a half. A nearby crew member must have read his thoughts.

  “That was some jump.” The crew member manning the lifeboat station, eyed the girl.

  Gerry wondered if the story of the sister had been true. He turned away but something made him turn back to face the officer. Murdoch looked around him.

  “Any sailors?”

  None appeared. Murdoch looked at Gerry.

  “Can you row a boat?”

  Gerry nodded despite never having held an oar in his hands.

  “In you go then, mind you get clear of the ship in case of suction but stay close so you can come back if needed.”

  Gerry didn’t answer but did as ordered and taking a seat thanked his lucky stars. His mam was obviously praying for his safety.

  Gerry didn’t look at the sea, which seemed to be many miles below them. His knuckles turned white gripping the sides of the little boat wondering if he should have stayed on the ship.

  “Lower aft,” The sailors manning the ropes to the lifeboat shouted, followed by “Lower together” and then “lower stern,” Their skills kept the boat from tipping the occupants into the sea. Thankfully, they weren’t crammed full and had room to sit down rather than stand. Then a shout from above and a body followed quickly by a second fell into the boat. A woman screamed in pain when one of the men landed on her. Gerry didn’t condemn the men, they had as much right to save themselves as he or anyone else had.

  The seaman in charge of the lifeboat disagreed.

  “Throw those two fellas out into the water.”

  Nobody paid the crewmember any heed. The two men sat down, one taking the oar from Gerry and using it to maneuver them away from the stricken ship. Then they waited and waited.

  Chapter 36

  Hearing the ragtime music across the water, Gerry stared at the stricken ship. Even though he had seen first-hand the water flowing in from the sea into the boiler rooms, Gerry found himself staring at the ship and almost believing there was nothing wrong with it.

  “Maybe we would have been safer staying on it,” a woman whispered to Gerry.

  “No, ma’am. If you look there, you can see she is going down by her head.” Even as Gerry pointed it out, they could see the water rising above the line of portholes.

  The woman gasped. “You mean she will sink? But what of all those people?”

  Gerry could see people gathered at the rail of the ship. Some were throwing things into the water, perhaps in the hope of using the items as rafts.

  “Hopefully, a rescue ship will be here shortly, ma’am. Captain Smith said there was one close by,” a man answered. “That’s why he sent up the flares but the bug-” the man stopped just in time. “Excuse my language, ladies. They didn’t answer. I know the wireless boys were trying to reach them, but they got another ship and they are coming as fast as they can. Can’t remember its name.”

  The woman glanced at Gerry but although he could read the question in her eyes, he pretended not to understand. He’d seen the rising water in the boiler rooms but would the bulkheads hold? Maybe they would last long enough for the other ships to come to their rescue. He stared back at the ship wondering how fate brought him here to this lifeboat when so many were still on the ship.

  The same woman handed Gerry a fur rap.

  “Here, young man, take one of these. Not only are you not suitably dressed for company, but the weather is rather cold.” Despite her formal tone, the glint in her eyes showed she was teasing.

  “Thank you, ma’am, but if you don’t mind, I will give it to this young girl, she looks frozen already,” Gerry didn’t wait for the lady to agree. He wrapped the fur around the Third Class passenger, a girl who was so thin, he could feel her bones. She didn’t respond. Afraid she was dead already, he moved his hand closer to her mouth and nose. Relief flooded through him as he felt her breathing. He wrapped the fur tighter around her, wishing he had some whiskey to give her to drink. That would help keep the cold out. He kept his arm around
her, hoping they would keep each other warm.

  Chapter 37

  Conor waited impatiently down below with the other men. Tempted to rush the gates, he didn’t want to suffer the same fate of the last man who tried. That man had been shoved back, fallen and been trampled on by the crowd.

  “Let us through,” a man shouted.

  Conor looked him in the eyes. “You heard the stewards. It’s women and children only.”

  The man puffed his chest out. “My wife goes where I go.”

  The steward pushed in front of Conor and faced up to the man.

  “Fella, I don’t make the rules. The captain does. Get out of the way and let those women come forward.”

  Conor got behind two of the women and shoved them forward. “Go on. Your men will follow. Go. Go!” He gestured with his hands as the women didn’t seem to understand English. The man who wouldn’t let his wife go alone, berated Conor.

  “What are you doing saving them? Bunch of immigrants with barely a word of English between them. No-one will miss them.”

  Conor’s temper flared. “Shut up.”

  “Make me.” The man fisted his hands. His wife, tried to hold him back but he backhanded her. A red mist descended and before Conor knew what he was doing, he landed a punch on the man’s jaw. To his surprise, the man fell backwards.

  The steward half saluted Conor. “Couldn’t have done better myself.”

  Conor turned away in disgust. He hated violence. He’d acted like his dad. The knowledge left a bitter taste in his mouth.

  Sometime later, Conor saw Hart come back. His appearance meant Delia had to have got to a boat. Conor crossed himself. Now his wife was out of danger he could concentrate on saving himself. Hart called out.

  “Come on ladies. Let’s be having you. Women and children come forward.”

  The other steward turned to Conor.

  “We have to take the women and children. Captain’s orders. Can you swim? There ain’t enough boats for everyone. Don’t tell anyone. Don’t want panic, down here.”

  Conor gaped at the steward. Had he heard right? There weren’t enough boats. But that didn’t matter. The Titanic was unsinkable after all. Wasn’t it?

  The mutterings of the crowd got louder as people protested against being kept below deck. Families pushed through with children and old people were pushed aside. Chaos was descending, not helped by the fear and anxiety the sheer number of people was causing.

  Conor helped to push some women forward to the stewards. Many women were reluctant to leave their husbands. Conor tried his best to convince these ladies.

  “My wife is already off on a boat. Let your man go and give him the peace of mind I have, knowing the woman I love is safe. If the time comes for us to make a swim for it, us lads will be better off alone than trying to fend for our women and children too. Don’t you agree?

  “But I can’t leave him, he’s all I got.”

  “Sure, he will be right after you, missus. You go on now and he will be following behind in due course.”

  He was successful with some women but others stubbornly refused to leave their men. Conor couldn’t understand the men who pushed their own families behind them in their haste to get out. Once more, he found himself near to Mr. Hart.

  “Thank you, Mr. Brennan. Your wife is on the boat deck. I saw to it myself.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Hart. I appreciate all you tried to do for us. May God look after you.”

  Hart shook his hand. “Best of luck to you, Mr. Brennan.” Hart turned to retrace his steps to the upper decks, taking the group of women and children with him.

  Conor sensed the men wouldn’t wait much longer and he was right. The crowd surged behind him and he was carried forward in the motion. The remaining stewards either fled or were forcibly knocked to the ground as everyone fought to get out onto the deck where they had some chance of being saved.

  Conor knew he had to get away from the throng of people or he could be pushed back into steerage or worse over the side rail of the ship. He clung to the wall and followed a slightly different path, behind some men who seemed to know where they were going. They arrived out on deck but there didn’t seem to be a way to reach the boat deck. The funnels acted as partitions between them and the boat deck. He then spotted a ladder. He started climbing only for the man behind to try to pull him off. He kicked out behind him and moved quickly to the top where he found his way to the boat deck. He glanced at the water, seeing a number of boats already out on the sea. Were there any left? Which one was his wife in?

  Chapter 38

  F ear almost overcame Delia as a group of men surged forward trying to force their way onto a boat. The crew and officers were almost thrown into the sea in their attempts to push the crowd away from the boat. They were trying to fill the boat with women and children. At this rate, the boat would land in the water with nobody in it.

  A shot rang out followed quickly by another one and a third. The group fell silent in shock. Delia looked from the crowd to the officers, one held his revolver up in the air.

  “The next man who pushes into this boat will be shot. Do You hear me? Act like gentlemen and let the women and children on. Before we are all drowned.”

  Delia’s heart beat faster as she, along with the men and women around her, processed the officers words. For the first time, someone had admitted the ship was going down. All pretense, this was just a safety exercise was gone.

  Watching, Delia saw the realization hit the people around her. Some stayed standing near the boat, gazing at the officers. Some ran to find another boat. But nobody would test the officer’s word.

  The boat was quickly filled with women and children and then lowered away.

  The officers and crew regrouped and moved up the deck. Delia prayed continuously for Conor to find her. She spotted Hart approaching the deck with another group of women and children. For a minute she thought he had missed the last boat as the boat deck looked clear but then she saw a boat about to be lowered from its davits. As Hart hurried his charges towards it, Delia searched the group frantically trying to see Conor, but he wasn’t there.

  She saw Hart look behind him as if weighing up whether there was time to go back for another group. She didn’t think there was and even if there had been, where would he put them? Delia couldn’t see any more boats. She watched as Hart glanced at the officer in charge.

  “Know how to handle an oar?” the officer asked.

  Hart nodded.

  “In you get. Watch out for the suction. Row out away from the ship and then stand ready for further instructions.”

  Without being told twice, Hart took his place in the boat. Delia watched the boat being lowered away. She saw a couple of people jump and wondered if they had made it into the boat or had fallen into the water.

  She didn’t move, having decided here was as good a place as any for Conor to find her.

  Just then Delia heard her name being shouted. Her heart leaped as she saw her husband towering over the other men. She picked up her skirt and pushed toward him. Not only had she to avoid people, but at any moment she might lose her footing. The angle of the deck made walking difficult.

  Rather than being overjoyed to see her, Conor looked furious. She threw herself into his arms. He stumbled but caught hold of her.

  “Conor. I was looking for you everywhere. I couldn’t leave. Please don’t be angry with me. I love you.”

  The anger in his face was replaced by despair. He looked around him before turning his attention back to her.

  “Delia, darling you should have been in that boat. You can’t stay here. You can’t even swim.”

  “I didn’t want to leave without you. I promised to be your wife in sickness and in health, in…”

  “Yes, I know, I was there but darling you have to go. Come on,” Conor half-dragged, half-carried her farther up the deck toward a boat.

  He kissed her, holding her as close as possible. When he released her, he held her gaze. �
�You are going in this one.”

  She didn’t get a chance to argue as he said, “You promised to obey, remember?”

  She nodded but she didn’t want to let him go. She didn’t care about living if he wasn’t with her. He pushed her farther toward the boat surrounded by a ring of sailors who were guarding it against another mob attack.

  “The officer threatened to shoot some men earlier as the crowd got out of control. They became quite vicious due to fear of drowning.”

  “Nobody is going to shoot you, Delia. You are a woman and should be in the boat. Now no more excuses.”

  Captain Smith stood to the left of her.

  “Why are you still on the ship, madam?” The captain addressed a lady with a broken arm.

  The lady, who was obviously a First Class passenger, given her clothes, looked at the captain with disdain. “Some of us refuse to leave our husbands.” She retorted.

  Delia could understand the woman but her reply angered Captain Smith even more. “How can your husband save himself and you too, you with the broken arm. Get into the boat and give your husband a chance to save himself later.”

  The woman, with tears in her eyes, clung to her husband for a long minute. With a sob, she tore herself away and moved to stand beside Delia.

  Another couple stood to the side of the boat. The woman with the broken arm stopped to speak to them.

  “Mrs. Straus, you must get into the lifeboat.”

  “I won’t be parted from Isidor. Where he goes, I go. You get in, my dear. You are young and have a long life ahead of you.”

  Delia thought the woman would refuse but at that moment her husband picked her up and threw her toward a sailor who pushed her into the boat.

  Captain Smith turned and caught Delia looking at them.

  “You too, miss, into the boat with you. Wait, lads, one more lady for you.”

  She turned to say goodbye to Conor. He kissed her gently on the top of her head and helped her into the boat. At the last second a man broke through the crowd holding two young boys, the surge made Delia lose her hold on Conor and he was pushed to the side. The stranger thrust the youngest child into Delia’s arms. The second boy, he threw into the boat before disappearing back into the crowd. The children didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.